Four Things We Learned From This Year's Oscars

2017 Oscars Lessons

Before we talk about the 89th Academy Awards, can we please acknowledge that Zac Efron and Aubrey Plaza co-starred in two of the best bad movies of 2016: Dirty Grandpa (y’know, the one where Robert De Niro talks about f–king a horse?) and Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (y’know, the one where Adam Devine talks about putting “a whole hand up an ass”?)? It would’ve been fitting had they been tasked with the dubious honour of announcing the wrong Best Picture recipient (come on, it was a publicity play!), but alas, the task fell upon another set of iconic co-stars. Before we get to the only memorable thing about the ceremony, here are three more takeaways from the 2017 Oscars.

Shan-tastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

What makes a great male actor? It’s a great meltdown, right? Whether it’s yelling like you just got your dong stuck in a bear trap or dormant-volcano-on-the-cusp-of-erupting quietude, you can always rely on the big dogs to deliver a masterful meltdown: Nicholson. DDL. Pacino. Hoffman. Brando. De Niro (yes, even in Dirty Grandpa). Leo. Denzel. So when the f–k is Michael Shannon, who excels at every type of meltdown, getting an Oscar? Not for his Weary Shannon in Nocturnal Animals this year, unfortunately, but he’ll get his.

#squadgoals

While Deadpool, your favourite superhero movie of 2016, failed to score even one nomination, you’ll now have to refer to the rainbow of blandness that was Suicide Squad as “Academy Award-winning rainbow of blandness, Suicide Squad” (it won for Best Makeup and Hairstyling). Since we’re talking accolades, Harley Quinn was the most searched-for movie character on PornHub in 2016, with over 10.1 million searches. Take that, Rogue One characters!   

Chan On Fire

OK, so this happened in November of last year, but did you even know Jackie Chan received an Honorary Award from the Academy? While everyone was busy clutching their pearls and spit-taking their vino milked from the tears of the indie filmmaking community, this fact seems to have been overlooked on the night. Out of respect, they could’ve at least looped the Police Story mall fight on the stage-mounted screen for the entirety of the ceremony.   

And the Oscar for Best Oscars Meme Goes to...

How could we not talk about the blunder of the night? It’s been 50 years since Bonnie and Clyde was released, so what better way to celebrate than to have its stars – Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty – share a senior moment and announce the wrong Best Picture winner? Ellen’s selfie and John Travolta’s butchering of Idina Menzel’s name in 2014 are hard acts to follow, but the Best Picture kerfuffle may have pipped them. Awards shows have a relevance shelf life of about 48 hours, but a Shyamalan-esque incident like this may be able to keep the Oscars trending for a week or so. The real winners? Meme-makers and pop culture pundits.