What You Need To Know About Staying Erect After Orgasm & More

Staying hard

I'm unable to stay hard after orgasm. Sometimes even two hours later I can't get as hard as I was previously. This obviously makes having multiple sessions impossible. Is this because I'm not very "experienced"? Is this normal? Is there something I need to do?

Bernard

Bernard,

What you are experiencing is the curse of the refractory period. In layman’s terms, the refractory period refers to a “break time” for your penis. Usually, it takes some time for an excitable membrane to prepare for stimulus again. Yes, it’s true that some men can stay erect after orgasm, but rest assured that a majority of men need this “break time” to rebuild their strength and allow their penises time to feel excitable again.

If you don’t want to roll over and go to sleep after ejaculating, one possible option includes going back to foreplay — in the form of kissing and touching your partner — until you feel you are able to gain an erection for round two.

Donald Zimmer

Abnormal Ejaculation

Sometimes I notice ejaculate on my penis when I urinate, especially if I'm sitting on the can. Is this normal?

Connor

Connor,

Unless you are ejaculating in your briefs, you shouldn’t be finding sporadic droppings of semen on your penis.

You may find some semen on your penis if you’ve recently ejaculated, since a tiny amount of “leftover” semen tends to discharge from the penis shortly after orgasm.

If you haven’t ejaculated, there is a slight chance that you may be experiencing penile discharge, which is a fluid that is neither semen nor urine and that is released from the urethra (at the tip of the penis). I don’t mean to alarm you, but penile discharge is often the cause of a sexually transmitted disease, and is often accompanied by other symptoms like rashes, frequent urges to urinate and a burning sensation during urination.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, contact your physician immediately.

Losing Erection

Whenever I start to put my condom on, I start losing my erection and it just keeps getting closer and closer to being completely limp. Do you have any idea what could be causing this?

Kevin

Kevin,

Because rolling on a condom isn’t the most sensual activity in the world, it is common for a man to slowly lose his erection in the process. The best way to make sure all the work put into achieving your erection doesn’t go to waste is by incorporating the condom roll-on process into your bedroom routine.

Since there’s nothing more unattractive than the sound of a crinkling condom wrapper, your first step would be to unwrap the condom right before foreplay begins and leave it on your nightstand. Your second step is to ask your partner to place the condom on your penis when the time is right and slowly roll it down. She should continue stroking your penis until it is inserted inside her. The constant stimulation of your partner’s hands on your penis should help keep the penis erect, even during the condom-rolling portion of the night.

Donald Zimmer

PC Muscle Location

Where is my PC muscle?

Leonard

Leonard,

For those who don’t know, the PC muscle (pubococcygeus muscle) controls urine flow and contracts during orgasm.

You can locate this muscle in two ways:

1- Stop the flow of urine over and over again until you can feel the muscle you are using — that is the PC muscle.

2- Insert a finger into your anus and squeeze your PC muscle. You know you are squeezing the right muscle once you feel pressure around your finger.

Donald Zimmer

Low Libido in Men

I am a woman who actually loves to have a sex life and be open about it. On the other hand, my man doesn't seem as interested or want it as much as I do. Sometimes I question his sexuality. I need a man's perspective.

Carla

Carla,

When it comes to interest level in sex, women usually bear the burden of being labeled as “disinterested” or “asexual.” The truth is, however, that men too experience feelings of sexual disinterest, despite being stereotyped as the gender that is ALWAYS pining for it.

Possible causes of a low libido in men, according to the Journal of the American Medical Association, are:

• Low testosterone levels
• Increased alcohol consumption
• Stress
• Sexual orientation confusion
• Lack of sleep
• Infidelity
• Depression
• Illegal substance abuse

What can you do to help his low sex drive? First, don’t blame yourself for his low libido. His reaction to sex has nothing to do with your appearance or your sexual performance. Second, ask your partner to seek the help of a physician in case you both suspect issues like testosterone, substance abuse or depression to be a cause of the problem. Third, communicate. Discuss the issue, how it makes you feel, and ask him if there is anything on his mind that he’d like to share with you.